Bananas

I've had a few days off, thank God! But I go back to work to hear the funniest story ever. Some girl had FAXED us her birth plan last week, which first of all we found to be very bizarre. Usually people just show up with it, they don't fax it to us. But what was in the birth plan was beyond comical. We passed it around the unit to all the nurses and laughed our butts off. I'm not kidding. I saw it and said "well, get her C-section consent ready before she comes in because this just sets her up for it!" She started it out by giving a background on herself and her husband, when they were married, etc. Then she gives the standard birth plan stuff about not asking her if she wants pain meds, etc. Then she says "My code word for an epidural, should I choose to have one, will be 'bananas'."

What?!?! WTF is "bananas"?? YOU'RE bananas, lady! Why not just say "I want an epidural now."

So she comes into labor a couple of days ago while I was off. The nurse taking her is PRN, and only works about 3 days a month. She hadn't seen the humorous birth plan. And evidently banana girl and hubby didn't bring a copy to the hospital because they assumed we got the fax, and never mentioned it to the nurse that we had one.

So labor goes on for awhile, and she evidently decides she wants an epidural. Of course she has a code word (which again, don't use code words, that's stupid.) and the nurse asks if she can get her anything and banana girl says "Oh, bananas." Naturally the nurse has no idea what that means. Every time she goes in the room she says "Bananas." And the nurse thought she was just weird.

Eventually the nurse asks her if she wants an epidural and she says yes. While she was getting the stuff ready she called the CRNA to place the epidural, and someone said "Oh, banana girl is getting an epidural?" and the nurse was confused. Then someone told her about the birth plan and the nurse said "Well that explains why she keeps saying bananas every time I go in the room!"

Moral of story: Just ask for the drugs if you want them. We don't have the time to play games.

And FYI - she did get a C-section.